As you get older, that statement gets louder and angrier as you say it to yourself.
This past September I turned thirty.
THREE. ZERO.
This is unfathomable.
That's... old.
Old people are thirty.
People with kids and mortgages are thirty.
Thirty is halfway to sixty which is only twenty years removed from most certainly being DEAD.
And if you think on those phrases for too long, it can very quickly become a source of depression. I have no marriage prospects (or even vaguely respectable candidates), no kids (or plans to have kids) and am nowhere near the financial means to be able to afford my own home in the next few years. Society tells me I should value and strive for those things, and while I mostly disagree, it can consequently put things into an unsettling 'my life is half over' perspective.
However, it can also be a sign to yourself that you haven't caved --a fighting (and inadvertent) bucker of societal norms. I don't feel 30. Most days I feel like I'm only getting started. High school buddies on Facebook posting pictures of their now fourth kid. How is that even physically possible that you've had FOUR children since I saw you ten years ago. I feel like I only left high school. I see college kids and people barely old enough to buy a Bud Light and think, 'They're my age. We're peers!'
No. No, you're not.
You're not a 'kid' anymore, Michelle.
Get a tighter grip on reality, please. For everyone's sake.
While I do not always feel my age, I do feel that some things are getting by me. Opportunities are getting missed. Knowledge is escaping. I am wasting precious, precious time. And wasting it doing what? Catching up on Downton Abbey and scouring tumblr for unseen pictures of the adorable Ian Kinsler.
Naturally.
(He is too adorable for a grown-ass man)
My hope is that this isn't going to be yet another tired blog about someone crossing things off their Bucket List (I don't have one) or even about changing who I am (well, maybe a little). It's going to mostly be about conquering laziness. It's about avoiding regrets in not having said, tried or done something. Not worrying about doing something wrong but a worry of not doing it at all. About learning to enjoy the attempt regardless of the result and being happy with who I am now --not waiting to see if I like myself more when this list is done.
In smaller terms, this endeavor is going to be about following through --finishing what I start. I want to write more. I want to do more. Learn more. Live more. Not only do I want to experience more for myself, but to maybe even find more of myself. I guess everyone has their own Eat, Pray, Love period. Mine will happen on a smaller budget and most likely within the state lines of Texas so the only people in Hollywood likely to knock on my door for this story will work for Lifetime (and likely only if I die or contract Cancer along the way).
90% of this blog and its postings are for my own personal records. I'm hoping a blog will keep me honest, keep me accountable and, most of all, keep me motivated. If I get brave, maybe even a video or two! If people read it and enjoy it? Awesome. If not, I will have an archive of the year I decided to set goals and achieve them or die trying. No matter what happens, I will be happy in the attempt. Or that's what I'm telling myself for now.
And with that, my 100 New Things in 2013:
- Read (more) Books
- (Classic) Films to Watch
- Things to Learn (Spanish, for starters)
- Try (at least) 10 New Foods (that aren't alcoholic)
- Projects to Start/Finish (crafty or otherwise)
- Places to Visit/See (local and non-local)
- Changes to Make (Mind, Mostly Body, and Soul)
- Things to Do ('do' being the operative word)
The list as I have it now is around 70 things total. I'll post the lists in detail one by one as I attempt to start, no doubt, with the easiest ones to achieve being posted first (lazy isn't conquered overnight). I'm leaving a bit of room to grow and modify it as I try new things (and subsequently not like them, I'm sure). Here's to hoping that I can find it in myself to do all these and more.
Cheers to 2013, ya'll.
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